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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26293933">The Beginning of the End Isn't Always a Bad Thing</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/alliedtowinter/pseuds/alliedtowinter'>alliedtowinter</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bittersweet, Childhood Trauma, F/M, Female My Unit | Reflet | Robin, Hopeful Ending, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Post-War</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 08:29:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,135</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26293933</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/alliedtowinter/pseuds/alliedtowinter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Now that the war is over, Libra and Robin can start the rest of their lives. Nothing is ever as easy as they'd hope, and the damage done to them is more than just physical. They'll make it out together.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>My Unit | Reflet | Robin/Riviera | Libra, Riviera | Libra/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Beginning of the End Isn't Always a Bad Thing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/LAngel2/gifts">LAngel2</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I usually don't write Fire Emblem Awakening fanfiction, but this is an exception.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>     Doing paperwork by candle and the light of the moon wasn’t ideal, and if Libra had caught any of the other Shepherds, even the newly-crowned Chrom, in his place, he wouldn’t have hesitated to chastise them for their poor decision. Unfortunately, he’d always been a hypocrite, with different standards of behavior for others than for himself, in insignificant ways like this. It was the least he could do, to devote his life to others.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     Besides, like any public service, opening an orphanage took stacks and stacks of zoning permits and nonprofit applications, clear and concise labeling of what donations were going where for transparency’s sake, and even the war veteran who had the Exalt’s back and picked him up when he fell wasn’t exempt from the bureaucracy, which would kill him someday if the nobles he had to kowtow to for funding didn’t kill him first. Pride was not a sin that Libra possessed in great quantity, but there was a difference between being prideful and having self respect. Refusal to beg on his knees was the second. (“Believe me,” Chrom often reminded, “I hate it too. But I can’t just set you up with all expenses paid in the center of the capital or else I’ll be accused of embezzlement.” He was right, of course, but Libra hated it.)</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     Footsteps pattered towards him from down the hall, and Robin poked her head around the corner of his office door, bleary-eyed with a well-contained ball of fire magic in her hand lighting the way. “Hey,” she called softly, “What are you doing still up?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     “Work.” The grind never stopped, to the point where facts and figures swam through his psyche even when his eyes were shut. He trusted only himself to run an orphanage where children could feel like they belonged. The institutions of his past had only cared about how much money the owners could skim off the top. It wasn’t like the children could lodge any complaints. Libra hated this game of political chess, where he had to become the arbiter of financial choice, as the thought of </span>
  <em>
    <span>what if I took some of this money for myself </span>
  </em>
  <span>was never far enough away for him to be comfortable. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     “You can work in the morning. Your desk isn’t going to get up and run away.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     “With everything that has happened to us, I would not be surprised if it did.” Robin, the one who returned from death, something out of nothing like the creation of the universe on a much smaller scale, lecturing him on getting a good night’s sleep. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Eternally the voice of reason.</span>
  </em>
  <span> He didn’t understand why it left him feeling like he’d been punched in the stomach while she kissed him on the lips. There was something funny about it in the worst way. She came back, but so many others didn’t, so was it more appropriate to mourn what he’d lost or celebrate what he still had? “But you are, as usual, right, though I shall only go if you come with me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     They shuffled down the hall together in comfortable silence and tumbled into two separate beds, both in the same room but on opposite sides, apart. Robin never asked why they slept like that when so many couples preferred to be… physically closer. She always seemed to know when a subject was particularly touchy, with a goddess-given gift for sussing out other people’s personal hang ups without being explicitly told. Libra was thankful for that. He didn’t know how </span>
</p><p>
  <span>he could explain even if he wanted to. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     “Robin?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     “Yes?”</span>
  <span></span><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>     “Thank you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     “For what?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     “Bullying me into going to bed,” he cracked a smile, only half joking.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     “Don’t thank me. You would have done the same for me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     “I…” Libra thought, and then paused. What could he say in response that wouldn’t be a lie or meaningless lip service? Speeches were Robin’s area of expertise. “You are right.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     “Of course I am. Good night, Libra.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     “Good night, Robin.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     He extinguished the oil lamp on the bedside table between the two of them and fell asleep soon after. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-----</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     Libra was both a morning lark and a night owl, like the summer light, rising with the sun and falling with the moon. Of course, he was always exhausted as a result, but the wee hours of the morning and night provided a solitude he craved. It was much easier to explain his bizarre idiosyncrasies to an empty room than to another person. Silence would not, could not, judge him. Past lovers hadn’t understood that no, he didn’t hate them, he just could not stand to hold their hands for more than a moment, instead believing him to be a cold man. </span>
  <em>
    <span>If only I was!</span>
  </em>
  <span> Being frigid would prevent problems from forming in the first place: one could not get hurt if they never got attached. Woefully softhearted, he was not built that way, for better and for worse. Even knowing that his relationships were doomed from the start if his partners could not understand his aversion to touch didn’t make his many split-ups any less painful. Robin was… different. She never pushed to sit too close, to invade his space, to force him to “get over his fear”. If it were that easy to overcome, he would have done so already, and Libra thanked Naga every day that she understood. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     Morning was also the ideal time of day to pray without being disturbed. Robin did not get up until the sun was high in the sky, and their friends wouldn’t come calling until it had started to set. Their home wasn’t particularly drafty, but the slight chill in the mornings brought Libra’s mind into focus as he went about the ritual giving of thanks he did each day by the hearth. Prayer could be worked into everything, such simple acts as cooking a meal becoming an act of reverent worship. They’d formed a pact: Libra prepared breakfast, Robin prepared lunch, and if they didn’t go out someplace, they worked together on dinner. He was not a very good cook, but he was competent, and that was enough. Neither of them were terribly picky eaters. Once he was finished, he returned to their shared room to wake Robin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <em>
    <span>“Naga, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Libra, knock next time!” He hadn’t expected Robin to be up yet, and he nearly slammed the door at the sight of a half-naked woman. Of course they’d changed in the same room before, during </span>
  <em>
    <span>the war</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but common decency was never out of style. Virion needed not school him on how to be a gentleman. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     Instead, he turned around, and spoke to the empty air. “Do not take Her name in vain.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     “Is breakfast ready?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     “That is why I came here. Do you care to join me?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     “Once I’m fully clothed, I’d love nothing more.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     He knew it was wrong, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span> it was, Robin would never intentionally hurt an innocent person, but even still, sometimes Libra wondered what Robin would do if he turned his back on her for too long. It was something he couldn’t help. Robin was not Grima, but if she had returned after death, he couldn’t rule out the possibility that Grima hadn’t returned with her. She touched him on the shoulder as an idle gesture when she was finished, and he nearly smote her. Part of him would never recover from the battlefield. He whipped around, ready to fight for his life, until he realized where he was and flinched back from Robin imperceptibly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     “Libra?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     “Apologies. You… startled me.” Robin waited in silence. She was baiting him to speak more, and he knew that, but he still could not stop himself from talking. “I don’t like turning my back to you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     “Why?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     “I know it is irrational, but I am afraid of what you will do.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     “I understand.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     “And believe me, I would not take it personally in the slightest if you wished to take a break, or stop seeing each other at all. The blame lies upon my paranoid self, and I accept that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     “Having bad thoughts doesn’t make you a bad person. It’s whether or not you act on them,” Robin said suddenly. “You of all people should know this. We’re only human. I’m not going to stand here and tell you that sometimes I don’t still have them too. He’s gone, but the reason he could exist and gain so much power in the first place is because everyone has their own Grimas.” She donned the overcoat she always wore and set on tying her hair back like usual. “The nice thing about humanity is that we’ve got free will. Every day, every </span>
  <em>
    <span>minute, </span>
  </em>
  <span>we get to make choices. Sometimes we choose wrong. That’s human too. But most of the time, they’re right.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     “Have you thought this out before?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     The expression on her face grew tight. “More than I’d like to admit. Sometimes I wonder if Grima is really gone, or if he’s just biding his time, waiting for me to drop my guard to seize control.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     “But we killed him.” Or, at least, they should have. The year between Robin’s sacrifice and her return to the real world was the most terrifying year of Libra’s life. Presuming her dead but being unable to find a body, clinging to cruel hope as long as he could, praying every night that through some twist of fate she would return alive. The world had a sense of humor, giving her back only to leave Libra scarred and paranoid, eternally waiting for the other shoe to drop. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     “You’re crying?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     “I am not.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     “It’s okay if you are.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     “I know,” he choked, “you do not need to tell me. May I see your hand?” She wordlessly held it out as he spread his fingers in a fan to match hers, and laughed hard but cried harder, tears in free-fall like the fountains in Chrom’s opulent palace gardens. “They are the same size. I have </span>
  <em>
    <span>never, ever, </span>
  </em>
  <span>been able to touch another person like this, and I doubt I ever will. Even now it is as if every single nerve ending in my body is screaming for me to release you.” Robin tore her hand away, and he smiled in spite of himself, “I suppose I just wanted to… see if I could.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     Robin spoke without thinking, words sliding out quickly and uncharacteristically harsh. “You don’t have to force yourself!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     It was stupid to think that he’d get over his fear so quickly, but some part of him had hoped a miracle would strike. How hypocritical: he who spent his time preaching that miracles were in the hearts of men, expecting one to appear on a silver platter in front of him. “I was not forcing myself. I was hoping.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     “Don’t. Not for my sake.” Poor Robin. Of course she had her moments of weakness, being unable to cope with safety after acknowledging the possibility of death at any moment for so long, nerves finely frayed. She was used to carrying a weapon, if not multiple, but in peacetime, it was unnecessary. That didn’t stop her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     Frederick had gifted her a dagger as a memento, a ritual tool that the previous Exalt had carried before her death. It was small, but more than capable of causing serious damage, and it was never far from Robin, by her bedside when it wasn’t hidden in her sleeves. Often, Libra caught brief flashes of light on the silver blade when they traveled at night through dangerous parts of the capital. Both of them made it out of the war alive, but neither made it out unscarred. “This was more for my own.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     “Why?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     “Because it is--stupid and immature of me to be unable to touch the woman I love even in the simplest of ways. I am a grown man. The time for phobias has passed.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     “Look, I don’t want to say I don’t care or want to know, because I do, I really do, but you don’t have to tell me.” It was obvious that Robin was trying to remain calm, but her carefully neutral facade was cracked and flawed. “You don’t have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. I’m not going to love you any less, and to suggest that I would is, frankly, insulting. What I hope we have isn’t something that shallow. And hey, maybe one day you will be able to make contact with me, or maybe you won’t. I’ll be here regardless.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     “I promise to you that I will. Someday. However long it takes.” He dried his eyes and started towards the kitchen again. Breakfast was still on the table, getting colder by the second, and he didn’t want to waste any food. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     “Well, we’ve got all the time in the world.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>please comment, feedback fuels me</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>  <a href="https://twitter.com/alliedtowinter">come say hi on twitter!!!</a><br/><a href="https://alliedtowinter.tumblr.com">and tumblr too.</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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